The effects of Cannabis

Well, from a personal point of view I would describe Cannabis as a drug which makes you happy, hungry, paranoid, errm forgetful and relaxed.

Each person is affected differently at different times. I, when I have just had a smoke, would like nothing more than to watch re-runs of my favourite programmes or failing that, re-runs of anything. I do not want to have to try and understand. Seeing a really absorbing movie is good, listening to certain music is also good, but give me a TV, a collection of Blackadder and Red Dwarf videos, and my trusty Bose surround-sound home theatre and I'll be fine. I used to enjoy being stoned anywhere, but since I got married I usually feel the need to lie down with my wife and just Chill Out.

My brother on the other hand is completely different. I smoke joints, he smokes bongs, buckets, pipes or anything else which doesn't involve tabacco. He becomes easily bored and generally starts off by watching two thirds of Cheech & Chong's "Up In Smoke", laughing at the same parts each time, calling everyone "man" and constantly eating munchies. He then gets a bit aggitated and wants to play on the Sony Playstation. After a short period of this, he generally decides it's too much effort, wants to listen to some music and then falls asleep.

In my experience, the most common effect of Cannabis to the first-time user is Nausea. Generally people first try it after drinking alcohol, the two conflict with each other, causing the patient to "Chuck a Whitey" (ie go drip white - unless of a non-white race - get hot and cold flushes and eventually recreate Linda Blair in "The Excorcist" by refamiliarising themselves with what they last ate). This can be easily avoided by not smoking after alcohol, or not smoking a joint rolled with full-strength Marlboroughs if you don't smoke cigarettes.

Should you make it past the first hurdle, the next thing you will notice is a generally strange feeling, your eyes will become narrower and bloodshot (often known as "Chinese Eyes") and you will get the notice that you are concentrating intensely on something without knowing why, and then forgetting what it was anyway. This will normally induce a feeling of hillarity and the need to be sat or laid down. You will probably feel quite heavy ("Divers Boots").

You may then either start rambling on about anything and everything, or you may well just want to listen. Either way you will probably get paraniod - about talking too much or not knowing what to say. You will then forget everything everyone was talking about, go into your own world - hopefully undiscovered - and eventually emerge.

"The Munchies" may now ensue. The desire to eat anything, everything, or something in particular. It seems the reason that 7-11's were invented. You, if prepared, will have food. If not, it's the stagger to your nearest open shop to try and act straight whilst buying out the confectionery department with your group of giggling, red-eyed mates. This particular venture can be quite an ordeal.

Other symptoms can include halucinations - if you get some really good dope, or a generally "F**K I'm stoned" feeling, This can be a good or bad feeling depending on the person in question.

These are, by all means, not the only effect of Cannabis. They are however, reasonably typical.